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Sperm Donation is Full of Euphemisms, and an 11-Year-Old is Full of Questions

Since agreeing to become a sperm donor for my good friends, Tori and Kelly, I’ve noticed an impressive variety of euphemisms are used when discussing the subject in polite company. My mother regularly calls to inquire how “that thing” is going “with the girls,” for example, and acquaintances will praise me for my decision to “donate,” as if I’ve just dropped off some gently used housewares at my local Salvation Army.